Think you’re a Haute Mess?
Marijah (mah-RYE-jah) Stewart, Marijjj for short, began her life in South Philadelphia, under her government name, Maria Spano. Though she was a mischievous youngster — stealing her parents’ car and crashing it directly into their deck when she was 15 — she managed to play the school game well enough to get accepted into Fordham University. It wasn’t common for many people to leave her hometown neighborhood, but she moved to NYC to pursue big dreams in 2003 anyway. After college, she hustled her way into working as an editorial assistant for Us Weekly magazine — celebrity gossip! what more could a gal ask for?! — and soon advanced to reporter, with credits including breaking the news of Tiger Woods’ infidelity; a first-reveal baby nursery shoot with Kendra (go Keeendra); interviewing the likes of Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and Jessica Simpson; and palling around with The Real Housewives of New York City (don’t act like you don’t watch!).
Sweet life, right? Sorta. For a while it was! But NYC is cut-throat and expensive! Credit card bills were racking up faster than Marijah could say Keeping up with the Kardashians. Turns out life was a real grind outside of the neighborhood she was brought up in. And partying until 3 AM every night gets old… fast. Though she could tell you Robert Pattinson’s favorite breakfast cereal — Cinnamon Toast Crunch — at the drop of a dime, she wasn’t so sure chasing him around the City to see if he was smooching Kristen Stewart was something she should really be losing sleep over.
But moving back would be quitting — and Marijah’s no quitter! So, she put it off until she met the love of her life, a barber from the neighborhood, who she crossed paths with at the Jersey Shore (go figure!). Once he told her he had no idea who Hilary Duff was, she knew she had found her one and only.
After accepting a new position as news editor at Life & Style magazine, Marijah was hoping for a change of pace. But still, Marijah was living two separate lives in two different cities, schlepping back and forth on the Turnpike every week. She felt like Stretch Armstrong.
Despite wrestling with the idea that leaving celebrity gossip could be a huge mistake — this was her lifelong dream! — Marij finally caved. Life on the other side may not be so exciting — she could forget free dinners, booze, celebrity swag and the beautiful people — but she’d also be giving up the sleepless nights; eating, showering and breathing with her Crackberry; intruding on peoples’ lives (celebs are people too!). More importantly, she’d be getting her life back, giving love a chance and being closer to family (who knew they’d be right around the corner?).
By the end of 2011, Marijah finally cut the cord. She managed to purchase her very first home with Marty Stewart, found out she was preggo within 1 month of moving back to Philadelphia (surprise!) and is now planning a shot-gun wedding for the spring (classy!) She’s back — and while it’s great being home, she sure ain’t in New York City anymore! While she figures out the ups and downs of being a Haute Mess Housewife — think Sex & the City meets Martha Stewart — she’ll be sharing it all with you. And she’s determined to prove that living a simpler life is living a happy life. Just because she’s no longer living life in the Big City, she is determined to remain fabulous!
Unemployed White Female
As if grappling with late-twentysomething issues (and saving up for that dreamy Marc Jacobs hobo) isn’t tough enough with an income, our intrepid UWF defies logic and belief by daring not only to survive, but to live, jobless, [sort of] homeless, and free. And she’ll tell you all about it – the good, the bad, the heinously ugly – because holding out for her dream job frees up her schedule quite a bit.